by Wendy Strgar December 19, 2010
Learning to ask the right questions is critical to building a positive relationship to our life. Often the leading question about our life, whether it pertains to work or personal issues begins with “what?” The question of what to do about… presumes that there is a singular correct answer to be uncovered. It sets us up to believe that what we do is ultimately more important than how we do it.
For years I have looked at my business through this lens, desperately searching for the “what” that would make my business grow. Even the moments of clear confidence about our chosen directions and initiatives were often clouded with visiting doubts and fears that are built into focusing on the “what” of life.
I remember years ago when I was immobilized by indecision about what to do. I read somewhere that any decision we make is the right one if we back every choice we make with the commitment to give our all to making our choice as positive as possible. This idea that how we live our choices is bigger than the choice itself has taken me years to get my head around.
But now, almost at every turn, I realize the depth of truth and wisdom to refocusing the questions of our lives around the how rather than the what. Replacing the pressure of having to find the right answer on what to do with the intention of knowing how we want to do everything is at once clarifying and freeing.
When the question you use to navigate your life shifts to, “How do you want to live this moment,” usually the what takes care of itself. By refocusing the questions we use to navigate in life on the process rather than the outcome, we are always finding a way back to ourselves, which is the only sane place from which to navigate.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018