For years now I have been writing in the hopes of inspiring people to love each other more, better and with greater passion.  Often, my posts have been about how to get through the tough times, how to listen for the answer behind the words, and how to take responsibility for our own erotic selves. But reading words on a page and bringing those into action in one’s life is a big leap that many just don’t know how to take.  Finally after months of planning we have launched the interactive platform to bring these ideas to life called the Love Agent Headquarters.  Anyone can become a Love Agent, and so far we have close to 100 people signed up.  My goal is multiply that by 100, because I know that the world will be a different place when there are 100,000 people actively working to love people that matter to them.

 

That said,  love missions can be challenging, even some that seem like they should be fun, like Kiss and Tell. Truth is that it takes practice and courage to speak our truth and show up authentically in love as this love agent shares.  A new and more regular feature of the Making Love Sustainable blog will include this new Love Agent support called Love: Asked and Answered.  We also will share inspiring stories and videos here of how becoming a love agent is changing lives.The reason I show up at work is because I don’t think I could spend my time doing anything more important than pursuing our mission of expanding the awareness and experience of love in the world.

Asked:

I can share the thought that just popped into my head last night while I was washing dishes: why don’t I feel sexy in our marriage? My husband always tells me how sexy I am to him, he is constantly grabbing at me , complimenting me and telling me he can’t resist me. But why don’t I feel like the vixen he sees me as? I know. Because I’ve always loved the feeling of pursuing others… the chase. The fact that he is so openly into me makes me uncomfortable. I can share this insight but it is risky: what if it doesn’t change anything about the way relate in a sexual way? The risk is that I still may not get turned on with his advances…what will that mean?

Answered:

Dear Why I Don’t Feel Sexy…

Congratulations on taking on the hard work of being a Love Agent. Asking the real questions like yours is not only courageous but the only way you can get to the kind of relationship you want to have.  Coming to this realization about what motivates your sexuality is an important key to your evolving sexual relationship with yourself and your partner. Just knowing this about yourself begins the shift and, one could argue, that not sharing what you know is at least as risky as sharing it. I have always witnessed how withholding the truth about ourselves creates barriers that we think are keeping us safe, but in actuality only deaden us and limit our capacity to connect authentically.

So what if you come clean about loving the chase and not being comfortable with being adored and desired? This is not unusual, especially when it comes to our sexuality. It is easier to let ourselves want what we cannot have and desire what is unavailable. Embracing someone else’s attraction to us can feel overwhelming, dishonest, and even boring depending on how we see ourselves and whether we have discovered and really come to own our own erotic selves. Maybe this Kiss and Tell will bring you to a whole new level of  knowing what you like sexually, finding the voice to express it, and daring yourself to push beyond your own sexual comfort zone.

I say, go for it.

Now we are doing it all together. Join the Love Agent program here.