by Elizabeth Spannuth

Due to recent cash flow issues, my sister recently suggested that I look into being a phone sex operator to make extra cash. At first I nervously laughed at the idea; phone sex with strangers seemed outside of my comfort zone. I do “give good phone,” a skill that I have honed over the years through a combination of long distance relationships, excellent theater of the mind, and unlimited talk time. But my skills are usually reserved for my partner and not something that I have ever shared with a stranger.

Or had I…I started to think a bit more carefully about it. All of a sudden I remembered that I have had phone sex with someone that I never actually met. This person wasn’t a complete stranger, mind you; we had met in the virtual world, but never met in person due to distance. Surprisingly, it was totally hot phone sex, most likely due to the fact that we had never met. Because of this we could make the other person whatever we wanted them to be. In fact, after a few sessions of this I was much less interested in meeting him in person. I mean, we already had the perfect relationship, why ruin it with meeting? Well, that combined with the fact that it was obvious that he really did not get me…like at all. Nothing bores me faster than someone that does not get my jokes.

I was in the process of over thinking the whole thing when I got a surprise call at work. It was from a customer that I had helped a few days before. He had been looking for some suggestion on items for personal use; I talked him through the options and gave him my suggestions based on the information that he had shared with me. Our conversation had been totally professional and work related, and I had not felt awkward about it in the least. But he had found it so stimulating that he was calling back to ask if I would talk to him again, this time for the sole purpose of helping him get off. I realized that I had, somehow, accidentally had phone sex with this man. I hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary, but he found the conversation so alluring that he couldn’t stop thinking about it. I declined his plea for help, as the context of it made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but it got me thinking: would/could I do that for pay?

The more I think about phone sex for fun and/or profit, the more it makes sense. When you get right down to it, phone sex could be considered another form of safe sex. No fluids are exchanged, no opportunity for disease to spread, no chance for pregnancy, no chance for hurt feelings – just verbal intercourse. And it enables those with serious kink and fetish tendencies to work it out with theater of the mind. (In the big scheme of things, I am pretty vanilla, but I don’t judge those who are more like a Neapolitan mix.) In a way you could be viewed as a type of mental health worker or as a type of body worker that works remotely.

I warmed up to the idea more when I generated a great alias using the age old technique of pairing your middle name with the street you grew up one: Lulu Winchester. Usually this should be used for a stripper name, but I am past my prime for a start in that field. Being a “phone actress” as some places call it, may just be the right venue. I ran the idea past my boyfriend to get his feedback, since he would undoubtedly overhear some of these calls. Never wanting to squash my spirit, his response was a very practical “Would you make enough money to make it worth it?” The answer was a clear “maybe”…

Elizabeth Spannuth believes in love as a driving force in our lives. She is continually amazed by the humor at work in the universe and approaches things with a wry witticism. She firmly believes that love takes many forms as she herself has had many different kinds of meaningful, relationships.  She has said “I do” and signed “I don’t” and thanks the powers that be for giving her the grace learn from every experience. She has a varied professional background that includes performing arts training, event planning, sales and marketing planning and execution and serving as a whipping girl in corporate America. She is currently the Love Evangelist at Good Clean Love.