by Wendy Strgar October 16, 2006
The question that comes up most often when I suggest that we give up this idea that we should be in the mood to engage in or respond to an invitation for intimacy is, How do you do it? So I know it is not much of a response to say, well just do it… but here’s the thing, a lot of people actually really enjoy the closeness and the sensations of intimacy once they get started. Leaping over the mental clutter of the day, or letting go of an insensitive remark is oftentimes the only hurdle between you and a love experience.
For me the most powerful tool, is just a flash of memory about how much I enjoy sex. Even if I am not feeling particularly aroused, if I can just remind myself that it’s in me, somewhere, I can sometimes open the door. Mood setting is a good idea too, music and candles are sometimes enough to flip the switch. Also, lingerie can be an easy way to find the sexy part of oneself. It’s amazing how different clothes make you feel differently, you know like a power suit, a sweet nighty can really change one’s mood. Any other good ideas out there? I’ll keep reporting on this, because getting to the other side of this hill is worth the push up.
by Wendy Strgar February 21, 2019
Our sense of smell is ancient and the source of our most powerful emotional memories. It is also the primal sensory pathway to sexual attraction. And yet, we often give little attention to all that our sense of smell can evoke, in part because we have so little vocabulary for scent. Often we're limited to “it smells like…” and delineated only between pleasant and unpleasant.
by Wendy Strgar February 08, 2019
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, here is an idea that not only promises to make the holiday more enjoyable, but also has the potential to benefit your relationship for months afterward: working with the contradictions in your heart by finding balance and even synergy between seemingly opposing emotions.
by Wendy Strgar January 24, 2019