I recently read a beautifully written article about one woman’s account of the journey through breast cancer treatment. During this time, she was teaching writing to inmates in jail. She compared her experience so articulately when she said that they both wanted the same thing- “We both wanted out, or rather, a way back in to our ordinary lives. ” This is the tragedy of life I think, that we rarely truly appreciate the wonder of the everyday- picking up kids, getting groceries, making dinners, even making love with our spouses can and often do so easily turn into this weighty tasks which we carry instead of the incredible light filled moments that they are.
It is most often in hindsight that we realize how incredibly fortunate we were for months or years that our ordinary lives prevailed. I am guilty of this taking for granted too- so sometimes driving in my car, I try to wake myself up by scaring myself with some terrible tragedy that might happen… I always am trying to remind myself – what if these are the last words I speak to him? Usually just a few minutes of this is enough to make me realize that there is nothing ordinary about this ordinary life I lead. I open my eyes and see the trees I am passing again.
A friend of mine, recently separated came to this same recognition about his marriage, sadly after it had ended. It is so easy to see what is lovable and precious about our partners and families in hindsight. Learning to appreciate their wonder and wake up to the minute and tender details of our ordinary lives is a skill worth cultivating. It gives us the only thing that we can really be sure of – this present moment of our ordinary lives.
A few thoughts to love by- from your friendly neighborhood loveologist…