by Wendy Strgar October 08, 2013
The most interesting moments of life are the unanticipated times when things are not happening the way you think they will. I am just returning from a long journey, which I thought would be the start of a new beginning for my business. So much for psychic tarot card readings interpreting business offers. I am still not sure, as I go over the last several days of meetings, when this dream offer evaporated. Was it gone before I arrived?
I may never know who or what shifted the current of the relationship we were planning- that my potential partner invested thousands of dollars in due diligence investigations and that I spent on travelling to meet him. And maybe still there is a partnership between us that has yet to be defined. Maybe it is the beginning of something and not only the end of something else.
I have to think about this Good Clean Love evolution as a journey with no particular end. I have to continuously remind myself that this is not a game to win- that it is only the privilege of following my heart, of building relationships, of learning how to manage, and of embracing problem solving with increasing skill.
Here is a lesson that bears indelibly marking in my memory- when we allow ourselves to imagine some better possible future, it makes embracing what is much more difficult. In truth, I am in no worse a situation than when I left for this “dream deal” now that the deal has evaporated… Except internally where the release of my imagined future makes my reality feel heavy and burdensome.
It is easy for me to spin a story about these people, or worse still, a story about my own failings when anticipated results don’t materialize.
They are distractions that alienate us from reality. Inevitably, they promote the cracks in my self regard, committing me to some ideas that I make true by the retelling of them. It takes a lot of vigilance to stay out of that rabbit hole, to do the proverbial making lemonade from the sour points in life. But there is nothing to be gained by vindicating our failures. It only adheres what we don’t want more closely to us, it doesn’t leave any room for asking the only reasonable question-
What don’t I know about this situation? What more could happen here?
Curiosity and remaining open to the unknown is in the end way more comforting then telling a story that sells you short.
by Wendy Strgar July 26, 2018
by Wendy Strgar July 12, 2018
by Wendy Strgar June 13, 2018
I remember one of the fathers of a little girl on a soccer team I was coaching years ago who came out to me and told me he was going to go through a transgender process. We were friends, so I was able to ask him about his motivations to go through the painful and expensive process. He said he wanted to finally look how he felt.