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So Close

“We are people who need love, because love is the soul’s life, love is simply creation’s greatest joy.”  -Hafiz


All the great spiritual teachings are founded on love. For thousands of years, the mystics have been teaching the truth of our deep connection to this conscious universe, which is the source of all love and often called God.  Quantum physics has demonstrated the truth of these ancient teachings not only through the interconnection of all living things as energy, but even more deeply in the mirroring of space and time within each of us. It turns out that the vast expanses of energy, of which reality is constructed, exist both in the cosmos and the trillions of synapses in each human brain. To embrace this truth changes everything, for we experience our deepest knowing here- that the source of love is not out there, in some far off distant galaxy, but rather is so profoundly close, closer even than our most intimate experiences.

Our universal longing to feel heard and the profound sense of relief we experience when we feel “felt” by someone speaks to this deep connection of love that transcends the immediate efforts of communication and transforms the intimate exchange into a timeless moment, an unforgettable memory that lives in us on a cellular level. When we are heard we are changed, the relationship is transformed –both healed and inscribed in a presence that moves us beyond the space and time in which it took place. We resist this recognition as much as we ache for it, because we know that some part of our belief in our separation is permanently eroded and with it, some part of our ego dies. This profound closeness is where we are held and also free falling. We are no longer in control of the outcome. Letting go of how our constructed reality is at once fearful and freeing. Replacing our individual sense of self with an abiding connection is a kind of death, at least to the life we are living before.

Our hunger for orgasmic sexual union is the body’s expression of this same longing to feel “felt.” Research into orgasm has verified that many people experience the profound orgasmic intimacy as a timeless moment of connection that reaches far beyond the two bodies entwined. This window of pleasure encourages our physical boundaries to disintegrate and creates an experience of union with all of life energy. It is no wonder that it has been called the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden because historic religious leaders understood that with this power to find divine connection, religious practice would be superfluous. It remains the reason that religion generally disapproves of sexuality; they have never trusted humanity with this kind of direct contact with the Divine.

And yet, it is hardly necessary for religions to condemn the divine connection available to us through our deepest intimacy, because often we are our own worst enemy. More than one great master has reminded his students that all of the stories, denials, arguments and even wars that we generate in the brief precious time we have to love is nothing more than our fleeing the direct connection to this divine truth of existence. Ancient teachings offer a multitude of techniques to quiet the mind, all of which are useful in learning to listen for the closest, quietest voice inside.   Most helpful of all is cultivating the courage to stay with your own emotional reality. Teach a child you know how to name their feelings and follow suit. Drop the story line and experience the strength of moving through pain, grief and loss. Staying in the present of our own experience is the how of it- both preparing and opening to the divine truth of your connection to everything. Just remember how close it really is.