"Embers of night flare up afresh
when you ignite the morning in my arms
and kindle the familiar hearth of love
Year after year we have warmed our lives
around the mystery of mutual fire
that heats our domain of risk and rapture
Whenever scorched however scarred
we hearten heal reconflagrate
Twin flames ever in blissful blaze"
by James Broughton
We just celebrated my husband’s 50th birthday. I thought this poem was a fair and loving reflection on what it is to love someone over years. The celebration was a glowing one, where family reunited and the feeling of love overpowered the years of separation and bitter taste of differences unresolved.
This weekend was one of those brief moments in life that had the beauty of twin flames. We see these kind of times in movies a lot, where everyone is happy and at peace. I know when our guests looked at our family, and at us as a couple they saw this. A brief glimpse into a life where all the noise can stop long enough to really create a celebration of love.
Our expectations around holidays often have this feeling too. All that “It’s a Wonderful Life” floating around in our collective unconscious about sharing magical moments, leaves the real efforts of making those times special feel flat, exhausting, unappreciated. The effort that was put out to make this celebration will probably continue to exhaust my energy for weeks to come. The work is daily. The sometimes celebration is the candle burning on top.
How we sustain a life with love is to learn about how to hold the moments of effort in the same blissful light of love. This is not easy. It is messy and we must fight against the dark thoughts that take advantage of fatigue. Choose your thoughts in the midst of the work and celebrate the tiny sparks that are available everyday.