by Wendy Strgar December 05, 2006
We just celebrated my husband’s 50th birthday. I thought this poem was a fair and loving reflection on what it is to love someone over years. The celebration was a glowing one, where family reunited and the feeling of love overpowered the years of separation and bitter taste of differences unresolved.
This weekend was one of those brief moments in life that had the beauty of twin flames. We see these kind of times in movies a lot, where everyone is happy and at peace. I know when our guests looked at our family, and at us as a couple they saw this. A brief glimpse into a life where all the noise can stop long enough to really create a celebration of love.
Our expectations around holidays often have this feeling too. All that “It’s a Wonderful Life” floating around in our collective unconscious about sharing magical moments, leaves the real efforts of making those times special feel flat, exhausting, unappreciated. The effort that was put out to make this celebration will probably continue to exhaust my energy for weeks to come. The work is daily. The sometimes celebration is the candle burning on top.
How we sustain a life with love is to learn about how to hold the moments of effort in the same blissful light of love. This is not easy. It is messy and we must fight against the dark thoughts that take advantage of fatigue. Choose your thoughts in the midst of the work and celebrate the tiny sparks that are available everyday.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018