In this season of trick or treating, what is really more delectable than a really juicy romp in the hay… ok, well maybe not the hay, but somewhere cozy, exotic or risqué? It isn’t really the candy that makes the holiday memorable, it is the sweetness of surprise and the chance to be someone else for a day that gets you thinking long before the day...
An estimated 280,000 women will be diagnosed with new cases of invasive breast cancer this year, while there will be about 50,000 diagnoses of non-invasive breast cancer. The majority of these women will undergo some form of treatment to combat the disease.
I’ve never really had a long-distance relationship. Sure, I was pen pals with a guy stationed in Iraq, but I’d never actually met the guy. Needless to say I am not skilled at the phone sex or sexting thing.
The height of summertime heat is plum season for me. Almost 20 years ago, we planted a plum tree inside a newly built garden deer fence, a gift for my 40th birthday. The plum tree now has come to define not only that space, but also the sweet golden plum meaning of summer. It is now close to a decade that the over-abundance of plums have become my annual ritual of decocting homemade plum brandy.
There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate the uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure, especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.
Most people accept breathing as an autonomic process that doesn’t require much thought. It turns out that, although our breath will rise and fall without our direction, adding a little agency and consciousness to our breathing goes a very long way in improving our health.
I have had sex thousands of times with the same man. We have been married for close to four decades. Our sex life has been the blessing that has kept us working through the challenges and that, even now, makes our shared grief digestible. Of all of the skills I have developed over the years of building Good Clean Love, sustaining our sexual life, growing up erotically, and sharing intimacy over the span of decades is why I keep writing these columns.
The orgasm gap is built into our different male and female physiology. Learning to awaken our arousal mechanism is a required first step for both men and women, and we often mistakenly believe that our genital response is where arousal begins. In truth, the sexiest part of our body is housed in the limbic brain, where memory, sexuality, and emotion awaken. The neurological circuitry for male arousal is more direct and faster than it is for women, and female arousal is a more interior process.