I’ve never really had a long-distance relationship. Sure, I was pen pals with someone stationed in Iraq, but I’d never actually met him. Needless to say I am not incredibly skilled at phone sex or sexting. I can imagine that one of the hardest parts about a long-distance relationship is the lack of physical intimacy, which is why so many long distance couples revert to phone sex.
I can count on one hand the number of times I've had phone sex and have to admit that the thought of moaning into the phone at first seems slightly weird – even weirder than sexting. Once you get started though, phone sex can be kind of fun and naughty, not to mention something you can add to your sexual arsenal.
If you’ve never had phone sex before, I recommend trying it! I'd especially suggest trying it if you're quarantining solo, caught in a long-distance relationship, or otherwise physically distanced.
To get you started, here are a few tips about how to make things a bit more comfortable.
1. Get Yourself in the Mood with Some Foreplay Texts
Experts say that reading a dirty text from your partner activates dopamine in your brain. Sexting can not only be a great option when you need an alternative to physical contact, but it can get you in the mood throughout the day, ahead of your phone date.
In the past when I’ve had phone dates, I always get some sexy texts sent beforehand to get us thinking about it and in the mood. Sexting used to get a bad rap, but it is becoming much more common these days. You may even want to try incorporating your favorite emojis. Here's a guide to the best sexting emojis from our friends at Women's Health.
2. Use Your Imagination to Tell a Story
During an in-person sexual encounter, you often need to go out of your way to role play. Costumes, different locales and props all can get expensive and sometimes are just plain inconvenient.
However, when it’s just you on one end of the line and your partner on the other, you can play out any fantasy you want. Just make sure you're both in agreement about this. It could be awkward if one of you is telling a story about a secluded castle and another one of you is putting you two on top of a mountain.
3. Try Closing Your Eyes
The beginning of the phone-sex conversation is always the most awkward since you’ve realized you’re actually doing this, but your partner isn’t there. So close your eyes and imagine being in the story that you two have created. If it helps, light some candles and play your favorite mood music to make it that much more realistic.
4. Be Open to Pleasuring Yourself
So your partner’s not there, but this is a great time to try masturbating. If you’re not super comfortable with it, just allow your fingers to explore and see what feels good to you. Listening to your partner talk dirty is one of the best aphrodisiacs and much easier than looking at magazines or having to do all the creative work yourself.
So as you can see, phone sex definitely has its upsides, especially when you can't have the real thing. It is sure to leave you with a lot of things to talk about and maybe even experiment with in your next in-person encounter. Let your imagination run wild!