While we all want pleasure, most of us don’t understand why our pleasure response gets blocked or even how to ignite it. So here are four steps to turn on your libido, enlarge your experience of sex and trust the intelligence of your heart.
If you can’t clear your mind when you are...
When it comes to sex, our society has two narratives for young women. It begins with the basics: contraceptives and consent. This is the core of sexual education in our country and often where the conversation stops, leaving a lot unsaid. What fills this gap? The second narrative on sexuality is a cultural dialogue...
There is a concept I learned while my kids were in Montessori educationcalled scaffolding—a technique that is reflected in the goals of learn it, do it and then teach it. In this way, the student comes back to the same material in a natural spiral, each time the student is able to add to...
“The way you make love is the way God will be with you.” -Rumi
You will find this quote on the first page of my forthcoming book, Sex That Works – An Intimate Guide To Awakening Your Erotic Life. My book sums up the wonder of living deeply in your erotic self and how that act connects you to the divine in ways that nothing else in life compares. Sex That Worksexplores the steps of awakening your...
“You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone…” Joni Mitchell
The shock has not lifted for me. Each day I continue to feel dazed and overwhelmed with grief by this world that is emerging. And yet, as I have written before, the more deeply I accompany my grief, the more resounding are my feelings of gratitude. When we allow ourselves to befriend loss and know it for the lifelong companion that it...
One concept we hold very dear at Good Clean Love is that of ‘Equal Pleasure’, so much so that we made it a tenant of our sexual health initiative, Make It Good. Why? Because we shouldn’t just settle knowing our partners have been pleased, we should also expect to be pleasured in return. It is the simple idea that the individuals participating in a sexual encounter are equally satisfied....
I am a daily meditator, which is another way of saying that I work with my own attention every day. As anyone who has ever tried to sit in quiet will attest, for as many days as I get to fall back into a deep pulsing vibration of stillness, there are the minutes of watching my mind flit from one thing to the next, repeating old...
The older I get, the more I appreciate how long it truly takes to be able to understand, articulate and define what we know. Partly this is because what we know is continuously evolving as we grow. The deep wisdom of aging doesn’t come from what we know nearly as much as it does from witnessing all that we haven’t been able to see and that we may well never know. Successful aging, I think, is when...
There are many good reasons to slow sex down but without question, the most meaningful is that we can bridge the orgasm gap through extending lovemaking time. The orgasm gap is the misunderstood and often overlooked time span that most women require to turn on...
Although it is most often in our relationship to our sexuality that we struggle to figure out what is “normal,” the weight of normal also impacts other ways we perceive and think, often obliterating our ability to see all the good that is happening in our lives. For me, the beginning of autumn has...
“Sex has become so meaningless, she sees french kissing as a much more intimate act.” –The Rise of The Half-Night Stand,Daily Mail, 29 August 2016
If the first doubt that most people have about their sexual lives is whether they are “normal,” then the new 2.0 dating and sex app version of connecting has only accelerated this doubt. Arguably, the driver to the ever-expanding array of choices in...
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” MLK, Jr.
All of the things in life that we have no language for recede from view. And yet our inability to express the feelings and experiences that happen to us don’t make those feelings disappear entirely. Instead they take up residence in our body, manifesting in everything from anxiety attacks to unexplained physical...
