Good Clean Reads

Here’s the thing about people, even those we love: They are annoying. I tell people this regularly and they laugh; sometimes a nervous laugh, but more often a knowing laugh. We laugh together out of relief, too. It’s not just you or me. Let's face it, collectively we are all pretty annoying. 

One of the most important attributes of our humanity is that we crave a sense of fairness and equality the way we do food or sleep. More than just an aspirational concept of governance, like “by the people, for the people”, all of our relationships thrive within the honest intentionality of creating equity between people. It is part of our DNA as we all recognize the plaintive cry of a child’s “it's’ not fair.”

The term “go with the flow” is not new. In fact, it was first alluded to by Shakespeare over 400 years ago – and for good reason. Going with the flow of life is one of the most effective ways to create a more relaxed relationship to the events and people surrounding you, while also making you more resilient and adaptable to the ever-present unpredictable nature of life. 

Is it Sex for Love, or Love for Sex?One of the most significant gaps between partners when it comes to love or sex is the truism that traditionally, male energy opens to love through sexual connection and female energy is more apt to need love to ignite its sexuality. I remember well a conversation I had with another mother at the playground years ago, when I was urging her to not withhold her sexual response until she was satisfied with the loving attention she received from her mate. She looked at me shocked and said “why are you taking...

There are some who would say that the idea of equality is nothing more than an aspirational declaration. They argue that the truth of meritocracy it is at the root of human evolution. What drives progress more than the individual’s drive for more?

A long holiday weekend is a great time to consider staying in to create your own fireworks. As much as sexuality floods the media, many couples are hard pressed to find the time and attention that a healthy and vital intimate life demands. 

It seems like every time I turn around this week, I have been hearing the word “easy”... from my phone which continues to light up with texts from old friends I haven’t heard from in years... “LOL, saw you on Easy...”, to the shipping guy at UPS, who suddenly recognizes our name on the boxes (“No way, I just saw this good clean lube ... on Easy, right?”) 

Most of what matters and gets better in life happens through education. Yet remarkably, when it comes to sex, many people were not only deprived sexual education in their youth but have carried the “ignorance is bliss” approach way too long into adulthood. In fact, when it comes to cultivating and sustaining an erotic life, persisting in not knowing may well be the kiss of death. 

I witness the generation gap widening at home everyday, regardless of my relentless efforts to get my teenagers to communicate. They still mostly pick up the phone when I call (because that was the agreement we made years ago when I said I would pay the bill) but they are short now - often missing the call altogether, only to shoot me a short text of their whereabouts and time of arrival.