Good Clean Reads

I spent last weekend with hundreds of new mothers and their babies at the Mommycon Chicago conference. I was invited to talk about Sex that Works, my new book about sex after pregnancy and the intimacy problems involved. I was greeted by over 50 mothers and just about as many babies. The conference was geared towards the practice of attachment parenting, an ancient practice the world over where...

Didn’t have the Valentine’s Day you hoped for? Here’s 3 Rules for not making it worse.

Post Valentine’s Day can sometimes be a rocky relational transition. When we don’t feel seen or appreciated in the ways we hoped for, it is easy to slip into behaviors that silently undermine all the heartfelt efforts that we have worked at for so long. So here are a few practices that have helped me time and...

There are more breakups associated with Valentine’s Day than any other holiday – mostly because all of our perceived slights and disappointments that happen every day are on full display on that day.

“The pleasure of living and the pleasure of the orgasm are identical. Extreme orgasm anxiety forms the basis of the general fear of life.”
- Wilhelm Reich

Some of my most vivid memories of my early sex life are not of the satisfying post coitus elated release, but of their opposite. It is hard to forget the many times when sex was more a path of frustration than pleasure; when I was still figuring...

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.” Shunryu Suzuki.

There is a concept I learned while my kids were in Montessori educationcalled scaffolding—a technique that is reflected in the goals of learn it, do it and then teach it. In this way, the student comes back to the same material in a natural spiral, each time the student is able to add to...

“What is without periods of rest will not endure.”   Ovid

Rest and recuperation is the only thing on my Christmas list this year. In the two weeks since my surgery I have worked a ridiculous number of days, insisting on getting things done instead of getting quiet. It has taken a toll. Starting today I am giving myself the gift of rest, which is not the opposite of effort, but rather its source.

R...

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”  Amit Ray

I am befriending my anxiety, as it goes with me everywhere these days. Happy to report that I have mostly given up the futile fight against it and I am finished with all of my subversive techniques to flee. Instead, I have been giving anxiety my full attention, which it turns out, is easier said than...

“The way you make love is the way God will be with you.” -Rumi

You will find this quote on the first page of my forthcoming book, Sex That Works – An Intimate Guide To Awakening Your Erotic Life. My book sums up the wonder of living deeply in your erotic self and how that act connects you to the divine in ways that nothing else in life compares. Sex That Worksexplores the steps of awakening your...

“You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone…” Joni Mitchell

The shock has not lifted for me. Each day I continue to feel dazed and overwhelmed with grief by this world that is emerging. And yet, as I have written before, the more deeply I accompany my grief, the more resounding are my feelings of gratitude. When we allow ourselves to befriend loss and know it for the lifelong companion that it...