Good Clean Reads

“Imagine living a life when the only sex you can get is to force yourself on someone who doesn’t want you. That kind of sex is an act of violence, and not only towards the victim…”

Almost all of the interviews that I do these days are about consent, or more aptly the lack of it on college campuses. Reporters often begin these interviews believing that this issue is isolated to our youth, that...

“Sex is always about emotions.  Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.”  Deepak Chopra

Here is the sad truth about the sex lives in many long-term partnerships: often it is either the glue that keeps the relationship strong or the thorn in its side, a source of persistent pain and discord. Endless books and articles substantiate both the frequency and damage of the...

“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”  George Bernard Shaw

The day I met my creative designer, the first question he asked me was: “can you change?” I paused for a moment, not really knowing what he was wanting me to change and said, “yes, I think I can change.” That was the beginning of the Good Clean Love design as it lives today. It is also a moment I often go back to in...

"We must give more in order to get more. It is the generous giving of ourselves that produces the generous harvest. " Orison MardenOne of the saddest of all statistics on our collective sexual health is about how little time we spend on it, with the average sexual act lasting only 7-12 minutes. Sexual foreplay is the moments when the arousal mechanism in the limbic brain gets to align with the blood flow to the genitals, enriching sensory experiences.

If someone close to you asked you to describe your ideal sexual experience, what kind of encounter would you describe? How would it begin? Who (and what) would be involved? Where would it take place? Most importantly, how would it feel?For some, the answers to these questions may be easy to articulate. For others, not so much. Being able to voice our deepest personal needs and desires is not always an easy thing to do - especially when it comes to sex.

“..that a boy is, in large part, hard wired to be who he is.  We can’t change who he is.  We can teach him how to develop who he is with confidence, and toward a direction that contributes to our world.” Michael Gurian

There is a surprising truth to the unique love that girls have for their fathers and that boys hold for their mothers. And it is through witnessing this generational love that my...

“Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it’s a cure.” — Thomas Szasz

Although there is no chapter dedicated specifically to effects of masturbation on health in my new book Sex that Works, I refer often to why self-pleasure is so essential to moving towards a healthy relationship with pleasure itself. In fact, sex...

“Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.”  e.e. cummings

Days are becoming balmy, daylight lasts into evening, and the flowering trees are now awash in color. If ever there was a moment that the kiss was invented somehow I feel sure it was when the world awoke to springtime. In fact, the earliest recorded kisses date back to India in 1500 BC where early Vedic scriptures describe lovers “setting...

Growing into our sexual selves is a lifelong process, much like growing up in general. But because we don’t have a lot of language for our sexual life, we somehow erroneously expect that sex is something we are born knowing how to do. Like any other physical and emotional skill, our sexual empowerment to both give and receive pleasure increases with our education and practice. Understanding how to develop your sexuality is key to this journey. Generally we wake up to our emerging erotic consciousness in our early adolescence. This awakening process of sexual empowerment is mostly subconscious, as our maturing brain connects the powerful arousal mechanism to historic and unresolved painful events and relationships.