“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” -Vincent Van Gogh
Uncertainty is getting the better of me these days. Much of the world feels out of control as I glance through the news. Between cresting rivers, freak tropical storms and impending earthquakes, you would think we humans would apply ourselves to repairing and preparing for the earth’s...
“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.” -Anonymous
Relationships require stretching. In fact there may be no more important place in life to practice and improve our flexibility than in our hearts. Getting over the belief that our own desires are the most important consideration at any given moment is a lifelong practice in...
I was walking down the beach this past weekend, and realized that I was able to be content with the present moment. The cold wind, overcast skies and beach flies were part of the texture of the day, but how it felt was inside of me. It seems almost silly to claim this as a victory, but I have far too many memories of times that were lost to me because the weather was not fitting my idea of what...
Making Love Sustainable was named as the best sex/relationship blog of 2011 by Intent readers this week. I am honored and humbled simultaneously. Writing is kind of a lonely business; I sit with my thoughts and do some quiet research while I wait for my ideas to coalesce into something meaningful that I can feel good about offering publicly. I find that web writing is a little like writing to...
Warm Up: Revitalizing Your Thinking“Love and work are the cornerstones of our human-ness…” -Sigmund Freud
Learning how to stay and grow inside your relationship is an art form, a meditation practice and a work ethic all rolled into one. The nice thing about the work is that it is constructed of basic skill sets you can develop and strengthen just by attending to them and practicing. No one is...
by Anastasia Strgar
Sometimes, I’ll admit, I kind of envy men… It seems like they’ve always had it all figured out. They’re used to putting themselves first. But usually women, especially young women like me, are so used to putting family, friends, or other people first, we have no idea what it is that will make us happy- or if we do we feel bad about wanting what we want. There is a difference,...
“The cruelest lies are often told in silence.” — Robert Louis Stevenson
There is no bigger paradigm shift that a relationship experiences than in the aftermath of disclosing or discovering an affair. The betrayal cuts deep and shreds not only the trust between the couple, but often the ability to trust one’s own judgment and the agreements that we believed defined our lives. Less than a third...
I never thought I would be the recipient of a letter that informed me that my partner was cheating on me. I had heard that story before and have to say that I don’t know which way to turn, what to believe, or how to trust what he says… I feel like I am starting from square one again and although our relationship works so well in so many ways I am not sure how to think about this act of infidelity...
By Tina Tessina
Women value intimacy, safety for themselves and their children, and emotional connection. Therefore, they long for the following qualities in a man:
1. Good Judgment
Good judgment is important because it means you can count on this man to help you make good decisions. He will be balanced and think clearly about whatever needs to be done. When you know your partner has good...
There may be no bigger paradigm shift in a long term relationship than the discovery or disclosure of an affair. Listen as Dr. Tammy Nelsonexplains the healing and recovery process after infidelity that has the power to bring love back into focus and redefine the erotic agreements defining your monogamy. Author of the best selling “Getting the Sex You Want” Tammy brings her unique and in depth...
By Tammy Nelson, PhD
Mirroring, validating and empathizing are a type of dialogue developed by Harville Hendrix, the author of Getting the Love You Want, a book about couple’s therapy. The dialogue is a structured technique that you can use to talk to each other that helps with communications. This dialogue has worked for thousands of couples around the world. It is a way that may help you to...
by Anastasia Strgar
My mother always told me that what people give to a relationship is never even. It is all in direct proportion to what each partner puts in their own box and that it never looks exactly as it should or comes exactly at the same time. Relationships are all about compromising and about breaking down expectations based on pre-conditioned responses.
Recently, my boyfriend and I...
