The V-Word

One of the greatest gifts of the work I do is hearing the inspiring stories from our readers about how they make love work in their personal lives and career. Learning how to receive the goodness and love surrounding us is a lifelong process and, even as children, we must learn that we are worthy and loveable. Here is one fine teacher’s method which could be adapted to your own family. Thanks for...

“To show one’s face is part of having the courage to show who one is.  And coming to terms with your own face takes a lifetime.” -James Hillman

I am learning to see myself in this newest version of my face. I wish I had appreciated the unique blend of features I had in my more youthful face. I wish I had loved the high cheekbones and paid less attention to the length of my chin back when my beauty...

Perhaps the single most devastating emotional pain we suffer is the fear of abandonment. Millions of children know this experience as their primary relationship to their parents, and the effects are wide-ranging and long-lasting. Abandonment is rarely about the person being left, it is most always a reflection of what is broken in the person doing the leaving. Yet the abandoned person rarely perceives this, instead the message of unworthiness and the belief of being fundamentally unlovable is planted deep inside of us. Almost like a dormant genetic trait in the human genome, most of us seem to carry the potential for this erroneous belief. Tragically, most of us also have plenty of opportunities that trigger it.

“There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it hardly becomes any of us to talk about the rest of us.” ~Edward Wallis Hoch

 

My teenage daughter has removed herself from Facebook. Her cold-turkey drop of a technology that had dominated many of her free hours caught my attention. “I noticed how anxious it makes me,” she replied simply when I asked why. “I just...

“The finest thing in the world is knowing how to belong to oneself.” -Michel de Montaigne

I am convinced that the most significant and meaningful change we can make within all of our relationships begins with our foundational ability to relate to our selves. This teaching is ancient and lies at the heart of every spiritual discipline. The Buddha summed it up saying: “You yourself, as much as...

“It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here, right now… with its aches and its pleasure is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, and fully alive.”   -Pema Chodron

One of my favorite movie scenes comes from the old Wim Wenders’ film “Wings of Desire” when Peter Falk is speaking to the air, to an angel he senses next to him. He bubbles...

“I do not ask to know,  I do not ask to see,  I ask only to be used.”  -Sufi Prayer

 

Today is my last day of my last year of the forties. Tomorrow is the first day of a new decade for me and so it seems only right that I start with the beginner’s mind. These last weeks of my 49^thyear have been a jumble of success and pain. I have been recognized outwardly as a success by large groups of...

I don’t know why I get so turned on by the things I do, which are so weird I am not even going to say what they are.  I have this same fantasies over and over again.  In fact, I can’ t even get turned on at all when I block my mind from thinking of this fantasy.  Then I just feel nothing.   I am so embarrassed I would never tell my partner about it.   What should I do?

Thanks for asking this...

“Tension is who you think you should be.  Relaxation is who you are.” ~Chinese Proverb

For the first time in weeks I am not experiencing searing pain in my back. My left shoulder injury was corrected today by a the skillful manipulation of a great chiropractor and as I walked out the door, I wept with relief. Over the last few weeks, I have come to value feeling well above all else. My compassion...