by Wendy Strgar March 26, 2008
This is the textbook for what sex was made for. Centuries old, Tantric practices are part of a much larger Hindu/Vedic tradition of which sexuality is only part. The full practice is a life long spiritual quest which demonstrates the interconnectedness of everything and includes yoga, meditation, breath work as well as sexual techniques. The Western and more modern interpretation of Tantra has become synonymous with spiritual and sacred sexuality. These Tantric books and practices explore and teach techniques which are capable of elevating the sexual participants to a sublime and ecstatic spiritual plane.
Many teachers caution against the confusion associated with “Tantric bliss” as a path to intense orgasmic pleasure. In fact the power of the practices is often the sublimation of orgasmic pleasure towards a rising spiritual energy of divine connection.
I am not an expert or even a devoted student of Tantric practices. I have read some popular titles and seen a few videos that teach the techniques and spent some time with on the internet researching the topic. The Google resources are exhaustive. Yet, even with out an exhaustive education the principles behind Tantric practice can go a long way in deepening the connection you share with your partner.
There are a few simple techniques that I often recommend to customers and clients with out even situating them in the context of Tantra, which in fact is where they came from.
The idea of making love with your eyes open is one of the fundamentals of deep connection in intimacy. It is surprisingly harder to do than you might expect. Move toward this idea as an intention rather than a rule and be amazed as the collection of glimpses that will reshape how you think about your partner and yourself. It is not easy to be seen, even by the people we love. Truly witnessing the act of love is profoundly trans-formative.
Becoming conscious about your breath is central to all Yogic practices and is foundational in Tantra. An easy way to start this is to intentionally count your breaths together. Associating breath and penetration, both shallow and deep, forces you both to find a rhythm and timing that is shared. Slowing down to each other and taking a breath with each connection is incredibly exciting.
Combine these two ideas into one of my favorite intimate activities and see if you can get to the finish line together. The ground rules are first to keep looking into each other’s eyes, and second, to distinguish between deep and shallow penetration. Starting with shallow and moving towards deep penetration in a count that you both follow requires concentration and focus which alone changes the nature of intimacy. The first round is nine shallow and one deep stroke, each one connected through breath and eye contact. The second round is eight shallow, two deep. The pattern continues and then repeats, if you can, although I have rarely gotten through more than one round.
Showering our physical love with intent and attention is the key to transforming love into a force of unity. My first line of products was called Sacred Moments because even without any study of tantra I knew that the closest we can get to the divine is in the act of making love to someone you really love. Have fun.
by Wendy Strgar May 22, 2018
There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate our uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure, especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection, but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018