The arousal response is your body’s natural mechanism for accessing pleasure. Although often confused with the genital swelling that accompanies our arousal response, the ignition for our arousal lives in the sexiest organ of our body—our brain. Specifically, in the limbic area of the brain, which processes memory and emotion and is conveniently co-located with our olfactory bulb, our sense of smell invigorates our emotional process, our access to memories, and our feeling of being turned on. Truly, your orgasmic potential begins with your ability to cultivate your arousal mechanism.
The ability to orgasm remains one of the most coveted and yet misunderstood human experiences. We often believe it is solely a genital experience, but our ability to climax reverberates throughout the body and initiates deep in the brain. Below is an easy-to-use guide that, with a unique blend of practice and letting go, will help move you from arousal to orgasm.
How to Increase Sexual Arousal Naturally
Give up the idea that you need desire to begin your sexual experiences. Studies have demonstrated that working with your physical arousal response can actually instigate sexual desire, rather than waiting for desire to jumpstart arousal. The truth is that waking up your arousal mechanism in the limbic area of the brain, where our olfactory bulb intersects with our emotional processing, memory, and sexuality, is the open door.
All the great lovers throughout history depended on their sense of smell to trigger their sexual impulses. Cleopatra naturally boosted her libido by coating her sails in rose oil to get Mark Antony’s attention (it is said to have halted the war for a few days). Consider Josephine, who didn’t wash for a week at Napoleon’s request. Notice what scents turn you on and surround yourself with them in proximity to your bedroom.
At Good Clean Love, we always advocate for essential oils that are derived from the source, as they are known to change your brain chemistry. Scent is the gate that unleashes our access to fantasy—the rocket fuel for passion.
Improving Arousal for Better Sex
Early in life, the link between genital secretions and arousal could surprise us. Tapping into this deep association by applying a healthy moisture is amazingly erotic. For that matter, slathering an oil on almost any body part will make it feel sexier.
There is little that compares with the smooth glide of a hand over a well-oiled hip, belly, or thigh to awaken a natural arousal that will wake up the desire for touch which lives in all of us. Likewise, the use of a natural, clean lubricant which mimics your own natural wetness will kickstart the brain’s arousal mechanism in moments. This is particularly useful for the millions of women who do not have strong lubricating responses due to any number of conditions.
After years of birthing and nursing babies, I have all but lost my natural lubricating response, which largely motivated me to invent Good Clean Love organic lubricants to begin with. Imagine how heartened I was to discover that a small application of great, clean lubricant would kick start the arousal cycle as well as my memory of natural lubrication did.
Not only that, but adding healthy lubricant ingredients ensures painless friction, more time to experiment, and is a critical companion to experiencing orgasm. Find something that works for you and use it generously.
Effective Techniques for Boosting Arousal: Focus Through the Nose
Trust your sense of smell to excite you and indulge your olfactory in whatever scents turn you on. Cleopatra and Josephine's stories highlight how powerful scent can be in triggering arousal. Whether you prefer a freshly bathed aroma or a more natural scent, know that our olfactory system is our primary sense when it comes to arousal.
Seriously though, I credit my development of our aphrodisiac oils as one of the keys to unlocking my sexual arousal and pleasure mechanism.Practical Tips for Arousal: Get Moving and Use Your Breath
Although arousal originates in the limbic brain, it is decidedly a visceral experience. Our bodies are built for motion and nowhere is this more useful than in sexual exploration. Although this libido-boosting technique may seem like stating the obvious, it is surprisingly common for people to tense up and stop moving during sexual activity.
Realize too that there is so much more than hip thrusting to experiment with. Interacting with all of your limbs, rolling your neck, and stretching into new positions can trigger arousal points that you didn’t know you had.
Erogenous zones that speak the arousal language can be discovered at the nape of a neck, an inner thigh, or mid-back. If you have no other inspiration than this, add some core strengthening to your daily routines and experience the orgasmic potential of holding onto your lover from the inside. Keeping arousal moving is very sexy.
Another easy access point to developing the arousal mechanism is to become conscious and deliberate about our breathing. Focused attention on breath in sexuality can bring life and orgasm into focus like nothing else. These practices are foundational to ancient tantric practices.
Experiment with both long, slow breaths and short, quick inhalations, and notice how your breathing affects your connection to your body, your lover, and your orgasmic possibilities. Try changing your breathing pattern and see how it transforms the experience. Making an agreement with your partner to synchronize your breathing and movement is a remarkably simple process, which can have a profound impact on lovemaking.
Our arousal mechanism’s voice is our breath. There is little that will bring as much fire and focus to your sexual experience than adding the gift of your attention on your breathing while you touch someone you love.
Refocusing your breathing will not only deepen your connection but also expand your access to orgasm.
Creative Ways to Increase Arousal: Arousal Flourishes with Fantasy
Being willing to witness the fantasies that surface in your mind during arousal by yourself or with someone else can add a healthy juice to your arousal mechanism.
Many people are afraid of the strange, fantastical thoughts that arousal evokes and spend a lot of energy trying to shut them down. Mostly that kills the presence you have in the moment and turns arousal off in favor of anxiety which cannot coexist with pleasure in your brain. Witnessing your own fantasy life does not require that you share it or act it out. Getting comfortable with your own internal fantasies is a powerful and regenerating nourishment for the arousal mechanism.
Enhancing Sexual Desire and Pleasure
The art of lovemaking happens as you extend the space and time between arousal and orgasm. Learning about the kinds of movement, scent, touch sensations, and breath that can lead you to the point of no return is a worthy endeavor. The journey from arousal to orgasm is not just about reaching the destination; it’s about savoring each step along the way. Every touch, every scent, and every breath taken with intention can transform your sexual experience into a deeply fulfilling and connected journey. By exploring and embracing the various elements that contribute to arousal, you create a richer and more nuanced sexual experience.
Consider incorporating elements of mindfulness into your lovemaking. Pay attention to the subtle changes in your partner's body, the way their skin responds to your touch, the sounds of their breath, and the rhythm of their movements. This heightened awareness can amplify the pleasure for both of you, making each moment more intense and memorable.
Additionally, communication plays a vital role in enhancing intimacy and pleasure. Sharing your fantasies, desires, and what feels good can open new avenues of connection and arousal. When you are both engaged and attuned to each other's needs, the experience becomes a shared exploration of pleasure.
One final note is that extending the space between arousal and orgasm is the art of lovemaking—so don’t be in a rush. The longer you get to know arousal, the sweeter and more powerful the release.
