We recently chatted with L.A.-based Katie Dalebout, author and host of the podcast Let It Out, for our “We Love The Way You Love” series. Her book Let It Out: A Journey Through Journaling is a collection of personal essays and journaling prompts. She also runs online courses for creatives and independent podcasters, and writes a weekly newsletter. We were delighted to ask her about the ways she creates and sustains love in her everyday life.
How do you create moments of love in your life?
To me, love is connection. It is being present with another person or even with myself enough to not be on autopilot; to allow their needs to be known and allowing them to see you. I create this whenever I'm mindful and slow down enough to really listen and truly be with another person.
Many people report it is easier to give love than receive it. How have you taught yourself to receive love?
That's the case for me too. I for sure feel more comfortable when I'm over-giving. I like to be the one to pick up the tab, bring a gift, and give all or sometimes even more than I have. But I'm learning that this is a response to not feeling like I will be fully accepted or loved unless I'm essentially “buying love”. I'm trying to learn to show up as myself without overgiving and allow myself to be loved as I am. It's hard, but what I'm working on right now.
What sweet moments stand out in your memory when you think of the word “love”?
When I first started dating an ex-boyfriend of mine, I accidentally said “I love you” to him after our, maybe, third date. It just slipped out when I was leaving for a trip and he was dropping me off. I instantly said, “Ah... um, that wasn't what I mean, whoops.” And we both laughed. He knew that it had just slipped out and that I didn't not love him, but it was just something I said accidentally in passing. He knew that because I say “love you” so freely to everyone from friends to helpful customer service people. Eventually, a couple of months later he sheepishly told me he loved me and we laughed about this again.