So I promised to keep you posted on my vigil in the dark. Suffice it to say that it continues despite all my protestations and multiple calls to all the powers that be… no electric solutions, no alternative power solutions, just the dark and cold of the longest nights of the year.
This is one of my main weaknesses, accepting powerlessness, in both the literal and emotional sense. All my meditation training seems to evaporate with the frustration and helplessness. The act of surrender is the only reasonable alternative. Allowing what is, the only sustainable choice.
Here’s the gift of this, in these moments my children remind me of all the things that I work to teach them. They tell me how small the problem really is. They tell me how grateful we should be for how much we have. They remind me of all the hungry children everywhere. This is the power of love. I forget how strong the current is, what I love, what I teach, what I try to embody in these moments of powerlessness. But then the energy of love opens my eyes again.
We watch DVDs in the dark about the wonder of love and giving and Santa. We have all the power that we need. The hardest lessons we learn in life are always the most powerful.