by Wendy Strgar February 04, 2011
“How silver-sweet sound lovers’ tongues by night,
Like softest music to attending ears!” -William Shakespeare
Remember the hushed make-out sessions of your youth? Rarely did we allow ourselves to sound out our pleasure lest our parents would hear. For many of us, not wanting others to hear any evidence of our intimate encounters still carries some left over shame that keeps a heavy lid on our ability to experience our own pleasure decades later. After our parents, it was the neighbors, after the neighbors, it was the kids….
I am not talking about dirty words, although those certainly can ignite a passionate situation as well as clarify boundaries when necessary. Words come from the higher thinking function in our brains. Sounds of arousal like “mmmmm,” “oooooh,” and “ahhhh” actually help turn the thinking brain off. Expressing your pleasure through sound initiates a primal place in your brain.
Think about the last time you ate something profoundly delicious and the sound of “ooh” and “ahhh” rushing out of you as the taste melts in your mouth. Allowing the sound to accompany the experience actually makes it taste even better and the flavor is more memorable. This doubles for an intimate experience… allowing your sounds to accentuate the visceral pleasure makes the experience bigger and better.
Adding the power of sound to lovemaking has some magical qualities, too. Sound, in its most basic form, carries resonance in our body and communicates that directly to the bodies nearby. Many meditation techniques are based in the practice of resonant chanting, which attune the energy field and body rhythms connecting us to ourselves and to each other.
Connecting through sound frequency has the added benefit of turning off our critical minds. It is impossible to simultaneously express a deep “ahhh” and be thinking about your self doubts. The primal pleasure takes over and shuts off the Ego that is often trying to disrupt deep connection.
There is little room for miscommunication with our true arousal sounds. In fact, there may not be a more direct feedback mechanism to your partner when s/he finds the magic spot and hears your voice raise an octave. Sound without words invites your partner into the mystery of your arousal and in turn, heats up their arousal.
Experiment with sounds in life. Try it with something delicious first and see if the taste isn’t just a little bit better… then find a time and space where you can let your sound lead you with your lover and prepare to be amazed by how deeply you resonate in love.
Wendy is the founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, a woman-owned company whose mission is to improve the experience of love in the world. Good Clean Love specializes in all-natural, organic intimacy products with no petro-chemical or parabens. Strgar also contributes to green sites such as Care2, Green Girls, and Elephant Journal.
by Wendy Strgar October 25, 2018
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” –Antoine de Saint-Exupery
We believe we are making it better by shielding ourselves from our own pain. This is a fool’s errand, for the pain we refuse to feel and acknowledge doesn’t dissipate from our lacking attention, but rather collects in our heart center with a weightiness that we often cannot name or discern. So fearful are we, of the potential of a broken heart, that we inadvertently refuse to open our hearts at all.
by Wendy Strgar September 13, 2018