by Wendy Strgar March 20, 2007
Have you ever noticed the power of letting go? The freedom in surrender, when you give over your cravings and desires to how it is. Then suddenly the situation is different and possibilities that weren’t there a minute ago are opening up everywhere. I remember the hunger for a boyfriend that held me for years. A longing that filled me with sad songs and led me continuously to the wrong guys. I remember too, when after one more bad date, I gave up wanting, something inside let go and then literally overnight, I met not just one, but three guys who were different sides of the guy I had been dreaming of.
Finding this place where we can let go of what drives us creates a space for life to offer us far more than we can imagine for ourselves. The irony of the space is that it isn’t something that can be willed. Oftentimes it comes from the place of despair and disappointment- or a deep fatigue which our insatiable hunger and desire so easily creates. We give up wanting because the pain of it is too much and then life has the room to offer something better.
This happens in relationships too. We believe by wanting people to behave differently we can will it to happen. We cajole and manipulate our partners to love us how we want to be loved, never really getting the love we actually want. We distance ourselves and find fault in the disappointment and love’s failings. Then if we are lucky we give up and truly let go. This is the moment when we can see the other and ourselves for who we are. It isn’t a Cinderella happy ever after story- but it can be an authentic love story where we are taken by surprise by the love that is there, that we weren’t able to see in all of our wanting.
This lesson has been finding me of late with my work. Letting go of the desire and striving has opened a place for life to lead me. Surrendering my will to make things happen has allowed life to surprise me with how much is there waiting beyond my own plans. Feel grateful when you are forced to let go. Something is waiting to happen.
by Wendy Strgar May 22, 2018
There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate our uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure, especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection, but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018