The V-Word

“Love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads to healing…I am not aware of any other factor in medicine- not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery- that has a greater impact on our quality of life, incidence of illness and premature death...

Sustainable love, the kind that we use as a compass to keep us connected to a vital, healthy and happy relationships are now being recognized as skills that might just save our species.

We finally have the scientific equipment to verify what we have always known: our drive to be social, to be connected to each other, is actually hardwired. Our need for connection and drive towards empathy is not a...

Ovidmade this statement about the boldness of love thousands of years ago. I would say that it has never been more true or necessary. Let this year’s celebration of love be a bold statement of love, beginning with yourself. Start by feeling worthy of your own love. Give yourself a break and trust your instincts. Watch your favorite romantic comedy and laugh out loud or cry when the mood strikes...

The earth’s atmosphere is stabilized by a very thin ozone layer which keeps temperatures on the planet in check. If you haven’t already seen Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, I urge you to do so. It crystallizes the fact that the fragility of our atmospheric conditions requires a renewed commitment to a sustainable way of living. It has changed how I think about what really matters on a daily...

I have many friends who not only rarely sleep with their husbands, they can’t even talk about it. I would go even further and suggest that most of their conversations probably move them further away from intimacy than towards it. Connecting with our verbal language has it’s limits- especially since men and women, don’t just speak differently, we also hear differently. This is why I urge all of my...

Do you understand the push-pull phenomenon that drives most relationships? Do you even know what side you’re on? This basic principle in the dance of intimacy can sometimes feel like a strategy game, but in long term relationships can also become a dangerous pattern that drives lovers apart. Here are some ideas to begin to relate to the pendulum swings and follow your heart to balance in love.

We...

In this season of giving and receiving, it is a good time to look at how and why that happens with love, or for many of us doesn’t. This is a bit of a Pandora’s box but I am going to simplify if only for the sake of trying to rein in the topic a bit- Sexual desire, is the result of a complex range of internal experiences that includes everything from hormonal stimulation to a prehistoric form of...

‘A man doesn’t learn to understand anything unless he loves it.’ Goethe

There is a guy banging his head against a brick wall. When asked why he is banging his head against the brick wall, he pauses and says because ‘it feels so good when I stop.’ It is a...

‘Sex-positive, a term that’s coming into cultural awareness, isn’t a dippy love-child celebration of orgone � it’s a simple yet radical affirmation that we each grow our own passions on a different medium, that instead of having two or three or even half a dozen sexual orientations, we should be thinking in terms of millions.’ – Dr. Carol Queen

Orgasm is a product of a sexually healthy lifestyle...