Good Clean Reads

Lubrication is one of the simplest and most effective ways to make intimacy more enjoyable. And even though our bodies naturally produce lubrication, it isn’t always enough. Hormonal changes, stress, medication, or simply wanting a little more glide are all good reasons to reach for lube!

“More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” -Francois Gautier

While we all want pleasure, most of us don’t understand why our pleasure response gets blocked or even how to ignite it. So here are four steps to turn on your libido, enlarge your experience of sex and trust the intelligence of your heart.

1. Start with an Empty Mind

If you can’t clear your mind when you are...

When it comes to sex, our society has two narratives for young women. It begins with the basics: contraceptives and consent. This is the core of sexual education in our country and often where the conversation stops, leaving a lot unsaid. What fills this gap? The second narrative on sexuality is a cultural dialogue...

“The pleasure of living and the pleasure of the orgasm are identical. Extreme orgasm anxiety forms the basis of the general fear of life.”
- Wilhelm Reich

Some of my most vivid memories of my early sex life are not of the satisfying post coitus elated release, but of their opposite. It is hard to forget the many times when sex was more a path of frustration than pleasure; when I was still figuring...

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.” Shunryu Suzuki.

There is a concept I learned while my kids were in Montessori educationcalled scaffolding—a technique that is reflected in the goals of learn it, do it and then teach it. In this way, the student comes back to the same material in a natural spiral, each time the student is able to add to...

“What is without periods of rest will not endure.”   Ovid

Rest and recuperation is the only thing on my Christmas list this year. In the two weeks since my surgery I have worked a ridiculous number of days, insisting on getting things done instead of getting quiet. It has taken a toll. Starting today I am giving myself the gift of rest, which is not the opposite of effort, but rather its source.

R...

“Marriage is not 50-50, Divorce is 50-50.  Marriage has to be 100-100. It isn’t dividing everything in half, it’s giving it everything you’ve got.”  Anonymous

“Our first baby is due on Christmas Eve…” a work colleague was telling me, with excitement about what he called his entry into adulthood. I still remember my own rocky transition across this adulthood divide. As most any parent will attest,...

“Remember that pain has this most excellent quality. If prolonged it cannot be severe, and if severe it cannot be prolonged.”  Seneca

My abdominal surgery was three days ago. One thing I have learned in these last few days is how subjective and changeable is our experience of pain is. There are moments white hot, bringing tears to my eyes, as well as others like a constant ache that are comforted...