There are days I long to look up and see an opening in the sky that would remind me of the truth about life. I work to see and to believe that life is good and our inclination to love is always one to be trusted. However, sometimes love and trust are not companions — affairs happen, partners are left, love goes unrequited, and accidents of the heart happen as frequently as they do with dishes.
I hear of these stories of betrayal and rejection frequently. The accounts are in fact more commonplace than the accounts of love sustained. I am definitely working to reverse a significant social trend and I ask myself frequently if the current state of human intimate relationships is a truer reflection of our capacity to connect and build lives together. Certainly current statistics of over 50% divorce rate and the short duration of many relationships is testimonial to something. And yet despite the odds, most people would say that they want to live in the embrace of a committed relationship.
The question of how to love again is a critical point of greening our personal lives. Holding onto the pain, resentment and anger of previous relationships creates strong barriers to building new connections. Making the decision to forgive our previous partner, letting go of painful memories and angry ways of relating are the steps that allow light and new possibilities into our lives. The poisonous feelings we carry, justified or not, about our previous hurts do more to poison our own lives than any damage we believe we might be inflicting on previous partners.
Making the decision to open your heart to life and love after being hurt requires immense courage and a faith in one’s own ability to love. It is the ultimate sustainability experiment to realize how fertile and forgiving a soil our souls carry through this life. It is a reflection of deep and abiding faith that somewhere above your head, seen or unseen, there is an opening in the sky that says yes to love.