Here is a fact about eagles that inspires me to believe in love. As eagles prepare to mate, they lock talons and free fall through the sky. It is a do or die proposition, as it is with us humans, or at least it feels that way as we project ourselves forward, heart wide open, hoping to be loved back. This act of free falling can be seen as a love metaphor for emotional intimacy, where vulnerability and trust are essential.
I don’t know if there is a sign that the eagles give each other so they know the moment to let go and soar to a more secure place together, certainly the signs we give each other are anything if not ambiguous. This learning how to love and open our hearts requires years of training, much like understanding the complex relationship dynamics in human relationships.
My third child, was just bitten by the bug as he closes his elementary school career. Oh the misery of liking a girl and not having a clue as to what to do. He is as morose as he feels powerless over feelings and reactions of his schoolmates to a mystery that will keep him perplexed for years. I try to get him to reach for thoughts that can help him, encouraging him to build emotional intimacy with himself and others, but spiraling down into feelings of lacking self-worth is easy for all of us. It was literally just weeks ago, when he was still a happy go lucky kid.
Love is the problem and its own cure. We all employ some combination of guarding our heart and discovering a willingness to experience emotional closeness. For some of us, a defensive posture becomes a hard to break habit, for others, the intensity of our desire to love brings us face to face with a line of bad choices. It takes time and practice to find a balance that lets us keep caring, ultimately leading to a deep emotional connection.
"If you fall into intimacy without resistance, despite your alarm,either you will fall into love, which is exquisite, or love will fall into you, which is more exquisite still. Do it enough and you may just lose your fear of falling. You'll get better at missing the ground, at keeping a crushed heart open so that love can find all the broken pieces…" Martha Beck
Check out the latest issue of Oprah magazine for an really interesting range of articles on love- or stay tuned and I will keep you posted.
