by Wendy Strgar May 18, 2007
Here is a fact about eagles that inspires me to believe in love. As eagles prepare to mate, they lock talons and free fall through the sky. It is a do or die proposition, as it is with us humans, or at least it feels that way as we project ourselves forward, heart wide open, hoping to be loved back.
I don’t know if there is a sign that the eagles give each other so they know the moment to let go and soar to a more secure place together, certainly the signs we give each other are anything if not ambiguous. This learning how to love and open our hearts requires years of training.
My third child, was just bitten by the bug as he closes his elementary school career. Oh the misery of liking a girl and not having a clue as to what to do. He is as morose as he feels powerless over feelings and reactions of his schoolmates to a mystery that will keep him perplexed for years. I try to get him to reach for thoughts can help him, but spiraling down into feelings of lacking self-worth is easy for all of us. It was literally just weeks ago, when he was still a happy go lucky kid.
Love is the problem and its own cure. We all employ some combination of guarding our heart and discovering a willingness to experience intimacy. For some of us, a defensive posture becomes a hard to break habit, for others, the intensity of our desire to love brings us face to face with a line of bad choices. It takes time and practice to find a balance that lets us keep caring.
“If you fall into intimacy without resistance, despite your alarm,either you will fall into love, which is exquisite, or love will fall into you, which is more exquisite still. Do it enough and you may just lose your fear of falling. You’ll get better at missing the ground, at keeping a crushed heart open so that love can find all the broken pieces…” Martha Beck
Check out the latest issue of Oprah magazine for an really interesting range of articles on love- or stay tuned and I will keep you posted.
by Wendy Strgar May 22, 2018
There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate our uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure, especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection, but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018