Here is a lesson that I learned again about keeping love sustainable in life. Most of the arguments that break a relationship exist for the life of the relationship. The big three that most of us deal with in some form or another are money, sex and family. In addition there are qualities of a relationship that often create real conflict as well- mutual respect, need for personal space, communication differences- how much and how deep, appreciation and acknowledgment. These are just a few, but many couples suffer from some combination of them for the life of their time together.
So here is the lesson- Learning to live with these conflicts without expecting to resolve them once and for all is key. I don’t expect many of these issues to go away anymore, but when the boat tips too far and my husband doesn’t hear the tone of voice which sends me over the edge, or the taking for granted feels like a two ton rock on my shoulders, there has to be a measure of learning and adjusting from the partner. Usually it is enough to have your partner recognize the place where you are stuck- if the infringement is too big or has gone on too long, flowers in the middle of the week might be necessary.
This just happened in our home- and although the issue still lives between us, our ability to self correct when we have leaned on the boat too hard has always been a saving grace for us. Self correcting requires humility and relies on the belief that it doesn’t have anything to do with being right. Self correcting in loving relationships has everything to do with giving up your own agenda long enough to see why your partner is hanging on by a thread. You want them in the boat, trust me, it is way more important than being right.
Oh and I do have some very beautiful lily flowers on the table. Additionally, this self-correcting work is very good for the health of your sex life.
We are revamping this blog- stay tuned it will be getting more exciting- and have been notified of a problem with posting comments. I think we solved the problem, but won’t know for sure unless you try to post one… thanks for taking the time.