The V-Word

Every now and again we are given the gift of true presence. Usually it is when we are faced with the stark reality of life ending, whether it is through the death of someone or something beloved. The details that we often think of as life itself, fall away and the mystery of our frail human form and relationships that make life meaningful is all that we have, and all that we ever really had.

Thi...

Looking for a Christmas gift that will give you hours of enjoyment? I can heartily recommend this big picture book by Susan Crain Bakos, The Sex Bible. (Yes, you can get them on Good Clean Love). Besides the tasteful full page photographs, the messaging throughout the book supports my belief that sex and love are meant to be the best of friends and that both are greatly enhanced by each other.

Th...

“…You see things as you are.” This quote from the Talmud reflects truly how we live. Our filters of life events are always clouded by how we feel, what we are thinking, how we are judging in that moment. What is the objective view? We use scientific models of double blind studies as a standard, but how in our daily lives and relationships can we see beyond ourselves?

This is a question worth...

When I teach about the Ecology of Love and talk about the water that lives between people I often use the term “showing up” to describe the flow that happens in relationships. In relationships, like the ocean, there is an ebb and tide to how we are present for each other, but if the water in the relationship is always out, then both people feel alone more often than they feel like there is...

The sun was shining on me all weekend, maybe I was just short on Vitamin D, but I can’t put into words just how healing the hours on a warm sunny beach were to my soul. This is a small miracle on the Oregon coast. You never know what you will get in the little micro climate we call beach, but when it is glorious- wind free, sunny days- you take it as a blessing.

That and slowing down the pace...

“The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather in spite of ourselves.” -Victor Hugo

Here is a truism to hang your hat on. We are all imperfect human beings working at making lives together with more or less skill. We make messes of our situation routinely and we hurt each other unintentionally, well and maybe intentionally sometimes. Yet we all...

This is my fifteen-year-old son’s favorite expression of late. It applies to everything from the right snack selection to a teacher’s grading system. Sometimes it also applies to the meaning that I try to live: about being authentic with the people that mean the most to us.

Authentic communication requires vigilance and presence. Slipping into habitual behaviors that offer protection and cover is...

It is a great gift in life to act, to give, to learn, to love without needing any recognition. Tonight was the awards ceremony at the local high school where like in all the high schools across the country, the same 15 kids were recognized over and over for achievements in sports, academics and volunteering. When you aren’t one of the 15, you can’t help feeling at least a little invisible. My...

I was happy to learn that the Sun is here to stay in all its radiance for another 5 billion years. That even as we are unsure about the land formations that will remain and how we will ensure enough drinking water for the population, I feel somehow reassured to know that the sun will rise and set as it always has, reminding us that there is always another day to try again.

The heat and power that...