I remember someone telling me years ago to choose my battles with my kids. Pick the things that really matter to you and don’t compromise on those. On the others, do the best you can and don’t be surprised how many things you thought were important really aren’t. In the end, the only rule that I was ever 100% consistent about was kindness. The only choice for my children was to work it out. More important than bedtime, friends or privacy was the driving force that everyone in the family was included, honored and heard.
As I began the journey of building a sexual health company I was forced to apply the same triage of focusing on only a few battles that were the driving force for the company. Here again, recognizing and honoring that love was the single fight was not open to compromise. Over and over I fought the battle of identifying my company as a love company, not an adult entertainment/sex company. Over time, this understanding of love at the heart of all our product development, marketing and community building has evolved us into a company that promotes sexual wellness.
Still, there have been many a time that Good Clean Love has been relegated to the sex industry. Times when people wouldn’t let us post a press release, times when we were excluded from advertising, and most recently when we were turned away from an office complex. I have to fight the good fight in these situations because to accept that everything sexual is adult-oriented entertainment is to kill the heart of sexuality for many if not most of us.
When I think of the importance of our work at Good Clean Love, I often reflect on what Anna Freud once said, “Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are.” Our sexuality is not a sum of our behaviors; rather it is a deep and important part of what it means to be human. Integrating your unique sexual identity into a complete picture of your health allows you to make choices about your sexuality that reflect who you are and who you want to become.
Standing up for our rights to be heard and understood as a love company that promotes sexual wellbeing is a both a meaningful social service and a revolutionary act, which helps to reformulate how we think and respond to our own sexuality. The trickle down effect of this kind of clarity to the next generation is even more remarkable. In fact, if there was any single healing that could transform the health of the planet I believe that it would begin with our sexuality.
So here’s to hoping that businesses like mine will be welcomed into any and all upstanding community business centers. What is not to love about sustainable loving relationships based in healthy, respectful intimacy?