The V-Word

A recent article (December 31st) in the New York Times titled “The Graying of Naughty” chronicles the entry of several older women, i.e. 40-50, into the pornography business. Yes, even the porn industry is responding to the aging baby boomer population, offering all kinds of stories that include older women and younger men, apparently an easily marketable niche.

The upside of the story is that...

Here is a good book for any of us who wonder what it would take to improve your relationship. The actual title is “The Sex Starved Marriage” by Michele Weiner Davis, but the content applies to any intimate relationship. I was particularly struck by the section of the book on real giving.

The premise of giving in a relationship is that when you do it, it can’t be based on what you would want or...

“Love is always revolutionary…It is the only thing worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”

Twin Flames

"Embers of night flare up afresh
when you ignite the morning in my arms
and kindle the familiar hearth of love

Year after year we have warmed our lives
around the mystery of mutual fire
that heats our domain of risk and rapture

Whenever scorched however scarred
we hearten heal reconflagrate
Twin flames ever in blissful blaze"

by James Broughton

 

I learned this powerfully sad lesson again today. It has happened before, but it’s been a while. A relationship that has no air in it, where one or both people refuse to communicate, is dying. The currency between the people is cut, and there is nothing to build, nowhere even to begin a reconstruction. The relationship is stuck- beliefs are entrenched, feelings numb or too hurt to approach, the...

The conference for the Society of Sexual Scientists was fascinating. The people who research, teach and counsel around sexuality are as diverse as the topic itself. It taught me all over again that the human experience of sexuality is far broader, wider, wilder than most of us let ourselves imagine. The fact that this is true and not just true about other people is the source of our own private erotophobia. Understanding what erotophobia means can help us address these feelings.

I read this survey that was included in the Ladies Home Journal the other day asking a wide variety of questions about intimacy and relationships. I was in the doctor's office with my two teenagers and was sharing the results of the survey with them. The question that still stays with me and shocked them as much as me was. If you had to choose between conversation and sex with...

Just back from the 17th annual Bioneers conference. What an incredible exciting group of individuals with so many do-able and sustainable ideas for a world that works for everyone. It is very inspiring to be in the presence of so much hope and intention. I myself, talked and talked and talked about making love sustainable. Here’s the short version…