Water Shatters Glass
Tonight I learned a physics lesson, live, in my own oven. I added a bit of warm water to a pyrex glass pan, and shattered it to pieces. I still don’t fully understand the power that warm water has to shatter glass, no more than I understand the rate at which relationships all around us are failing. Maybe I am drawing a metaphor that doesn’t hold up, but...
Conversation or Sex
I read this survey that was included in the Ladies Home Journal the other day asking a wide variety of questions about intimacy and relationships. I was in the doctor’s office with my two teenagers and was sharing the results of the survey with them. The question that still stays with me and shocked them as much as me was. If you had to choose between conversation and sex with your guy for a month...
Ecology of Love
Just back from the 17th annual Bioneers conference. What an incredible exciting group of individuals with so many do-able and sustainable ideas for a world that works for everyone. It is very inspiring to be in the presence of so much hope and intention. I myself, talked and talked and talked about making love sustainable. Here’s the short version…
Sexuality and Censorship
Censorship is defined in the dictionary as an official with the power to examine movies, books, television programming and to remove or prohibit anything considered obscene, politically objectionable, etc. There is some general agreement about what constitutes sexual obscenity and objectionable sexual content. I have in the course of my work been faced with situations and people who have very...
All Kinds of Sex
People have different expectations and experiences and desires about sex. OK, stating the obvious here, but actually what I mean to say is that people in the same bed, in the same sexual experience often have totally different expectations, experiences and desires… Individual preferences are impacted by everything from our personal history to our comfort with our own body- but because language is...
Time For Love
Making time for love is an important barometer of the commitment and sustainability of your relationship. When you consider the outrageous scheduling hoops we agree to without qualm in our work setting, or even more intensely in managing our children’s activity calendar, it makes you wonder how the idea of scheduling intimacy could still be so taboo.
Yet, taboo it is, with an overriding belief...
Alchemy of Passion
Here is a new spin on an age old problem- Why does sex often become more tame and well, boring, over time as your relationship deepens? Or asked differently- why does illicit sex, whether it be cyber, vacation or a new partner often have so much more fire? This is the question that haunts most committed relationships- and no, it is not that you don’t have the right lingerie or a new or better...
When You Can’t Love Yourself First
It is hard to love anyone, when you are feeling no love for yourself. There are a million and one reasons that we all have every day to be disappointed with events and people around us. It is not unusual to be in a circumstance where you feel like a victim of someone else’s doings… Inevitably, this becomes some kind of negative self talk that separates you from everyone- even the people you really...
Inventing a Language for Sex
I rarely speak directly about sex. I feel like I am still inventing a language that I can use comfortably in the world, one that envelops the physical, but also transcends it. It is important to talk about orgasm, and to understand the power of it in daily life. But so much of this language has been usurped by an industry that sells us cheap images of organs, or people who feel like they just met...
