The V-Word

All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses,

And to die is different from what any one supposed,

and luckier…

They are alive and well somewhere,

The smallest sprout shows there is really no death,

And if there ever was, it led forward to life,

And does not wait at the end to arrest it,

And ceas’d the moment life appear’d.

-Walt Whitman

Summer days slow down time. The sun hangs high in...

Question:

Hi, I am a 21-year-old female. I can’t seem to come when I have sex and that bothers my partner because he doesn’t think he’s done his part. I mean, it’s great sex but I just can’t come. What’s wrong with me?

Answer:

Thanks for this question. There is nothing wrong with you. This is an issue that effects millions of women. Not being able to orgasm is a problem for a third of all women....

Question:

Thanks for your informative site. I am curious about what advice you give married couples about the use of pornography in erotic stimulation. What issues do you think are important to cover with giving advice to couples? What are your thoughts on pornography addiction and its affects on marriage?

Answer:

Great questions. First, one of the most important things to remember about porn...

When I think of summer, I have this picture of long lazy days by the water, listening for the distant voices of my children while I wander off into a great book, quietly stepping into some new ways of thinking or sharing in the stories of life that change us just by hearing them. Ana Freud said “Sex is something we do, sexuality is who we are.” What better time than the brief interludes of warm...

The other gravity of life takes hold at these moments that often usher in serious injury and grave tragedy. We are never prepared for the end of anything, even if we are fully aware of the statistics and uncertainty that qualify life. How could we go about the fullness of life’s activities and challenges expecting tragedy to fall with the even handedness that the universal law of gravity metes out? In order to keep it all going, we move forward with the naive expectation that the difficult and challenging experiences in life only happen to other people, not to us.

Here is the link to one of the best recaps of sex today in America and abroad…
Author Philip Weiss makes the case for the genetically predisposed male needs for sexual diversity and covers everything from the new form of communal living in polyamory, old issues of prostitution and infidelity and the seemingly unanswerable question about finding the junction between sexuality and long term committed...

Question:

My question is pretty vague! What does it look like to have a healthy sex life in marriage?

The background to my question is: My husband of 18 years is working on getting over a pornography addiction. I have some sexual abuse issues from childhood. So we are both messed up. Initially when we married I tried to be fun and sexy and would not get much response so I often felt rejected. He’d...