The V-Word

Language is the metaphor we use to communicate our deepest feelings. A couple’s sexuality is the most profound vehicle of communication of all. The words we use and our physical language of love define our love experience.

Penetration is the word often used to describe the culminating act of sexuality. It’s a word I often use when describing the best use of good lubricant. But it was just this...

The Wrist KissIt has been a while since we talked about the joy and wonder of sex itself… so it’s Monday, a cold and foggy one with darkness coming earlier. Yes, definitely a day to explore intimacy. Here are the facts leading up to this wrist kiss… foreplay as we have called it, is actually the main play. It sets the tone for any and all orgasms that follow. It is the color of the love and the depth of connection that you get to share with the one you love. When I sell my love oils, one of the greatest selling points is that it extends your love time.

“…You see things as you are.” This quote from the Talmud reflects truly how we live. Our filters of life events are always clouded by how we feel, what we are thinking, how we are judging in that moment. What is the objective view? We use scientific models of double blind studies as a standard, but how in our daily lives and relationships can we see beyond ourselves?

This is a question worth...

I recently read a beautifully written article about one woman’s account of the journey through breast cancer treatment. During this time, she was teaching writing to inmates in jail. She compared her experience so articulately when she said that they both wanted the same thing- “We both wanted out, or rather, a way back in to our ordinary lives. ” This is the tragedy of life I think, that we...

When I teach about the Ecology of Love and talk about the water that lives between people I often use the term “showing up” to describe the flow that happens in relationships. In relationships, like the ocean, there is an ebb and tide to how we are present for each other, but if the water in the relationship is always out, then both people feel alone more often than they feel like there is...

The chances that you know someone who is divorced, about to divorce or the immediate cause of a divorce are greater than you might think- well actually we all know the statistics- less than 50% of married couples stay married- and affairs are often the precursor to the end. But just this week, a couple we have known well and socialized with intimately joined the statistics- the husband had been...

"To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life." -Elizabeth Gilbert Sometimes we give up one kind of balance for another. Our work lives take over...

The sun was shining on me all weekend, maybe I was just short on Vitamin D, but I can’t put into words just how healing the hours on a warm sunny beach were to my soul. This is a small miracle on the Oregon coast. You never know what you will get in the little micro climate we call beach, but when it is glorious- wind free, sunny days- you take it as a blessing.

That and slowing down the pace...

A finer description of the state of humanity would be hard to come by or feel more true for my life situation of late. The question of biology and hormonal influences have to come up because it is hard to justify the feelings of exhaustion and despair that can just wash over me. The Buddhists call this shengpa, this ineffable experience of feelings that turn into solid reality in our thoughts and...