The V-Word

The Buddha famously taught “With our thoughts we make the world.” True wisdom begins when we recognize the extent to which we are a captive audience to the voice inside our head. It is this inner reality and the often invisible relationship we have with ourselves that literally creates our lives. More surprising – and perhaps more subtle – is how this world inside our head also acts as a filter for everything we perceive outside of us. In short, the world happening around us becomes what we tell ourselves it is.

Learning how to love is a complex set of equations. Knowing how to love is no more an inborn skill than being able to compute algebraic equations. Physical loving turns...

Your arousal response is your body’s natural mechanism for accessing pleasure. Although often confused with the genital swelling that accompanies being turned on, the source and ignition for becoming aroused lives in the sexiest organ of your body - your brain. More specifically in the limbic area of the brain, which is also responsible for generating our emotions and developing memory. Conveniently the limbic brain is co-located with our olfactory bulb, which explains why our sense of smell both heightens our emotional experience and connects us to our memories so powerfully.

As early as 44 BCE, the Romans hosted a fertility celebration called Lupercalia, in which they sacrificed animals and procreated. Romantic? I’m not so sure. It wasn’t until the 14th century that Valentine’s Day as we know it really started to emerge. And no, it wasn’t named after just one saint; in fact, it was named after three!

Most of us are risk averse when it comes to matters of the heart. This is why so many things that need to be shared are never uttered. It also explains why so many relationships expire long before the work is done. Staying intimately connected is only possible through the work of being emotionally courageous. Perhaps the truest thing we can say about courage is that it is the ability to live well with all of the risks that come with being alive.

The benefits of using a personal lubricant for sex are numerous. Lubricants can deepen your pleasure, since they increase the natural slip and slide that go with the best sex, and they can also be helpful in combating conditions like vaginal dryness or pain with sex that often accompany normal hormonal shifts, medical conditions, and age-related changes.

Curiosity is one of the most curative traits of our humanity. It is this natural and beguiling capacity that defines us through our urge to understand, to explore, and to go beyond our own limits.

The term “go with the flow” is not new. In fact, it was first alluded to by Shakespeare over 400 years ago – and for good reason. Going with the flow of life is one of the most effective ways to create a more relaxed relationship to the events and people surrounding you, while also making you more resilient and adaptable to the ever-present unpredictable nature of life. 

Let’s be honest. As much as you try to communicate with your partner about your wishes and desires in the bedroom (and in all other aspects of your life), communication in relationships can be hard. Sometimes, when you’ve been with each other for a long time or you have some extraneous events going on, it can be hard to know where your partner stands. We all want to be adored and desired, but the level of adoration and desire we receive can wax and wane over time, for a variety of reasons. Maybe you’ve just had a baby, perhaps one or both of you are going through a major career change … or maybe you’re just in a rut.