“More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” -Francois Gautier

While we all want pleasure, most of us don’t understand why our pleasure response gets blocked or even how to ignite it. So here are four steps to turn on your libido, enlarge your experience of sex and trust the intelligence of your heart.

1. Start with an Empty Mind

If you can’t clear your mind when you are...

When it comes to sex, our society has two narratives for young women. It begins with the basics: contraceptives and consent. This is the core of sexual education in our country and often where the conversation stops, leaving a lot unsaid. What fills this gap? The second narrative on sexuality is a cultural dialogue...

“The pleasure of living and the pleasure of the orgasm are identical. Extreme orgasm anxiety forms the basis of the general fear of life.”
- Wilhelm Reich

Some of my most vivid memories of my early sex life are not of the satisfying post coitus elated release, but of their opposite. It is hard to forget the many times when sex was more a path of frustration than pleasure; when I was still figuring...

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.” Shunryu Suzuki.

There is a concept I learned while my kids were in Montessori educationcalled scaffolding—a technique that is reflected in the goals of learn it, do it and then teach it. In this way, the student comes back to the same material in a natural spiral, each time the student is able to add to...

“What is without periods of rest will not endure.”   Ovid

Rest and recuperation is the only thing on my Christmas list this year. In the two weeks since my surgery I have worked a ridiculous number of days, insisting on getting things done instead of getting quiet. It has taken a toll. Starting today I am giving myself the gift of rest, which is not the opposite of effort, but rather its source.

R...

“Marriage is not 50-50, Divorce is 50-50.  Marriage has to be 100-100. It isn’t dividing everything in half, it’s giving it everything you’ve got.”  Anonymous

“Our first baby is due on Christmas Eve…” a work colleague was telling me, with excitement about what he called his entry into adulthood. I still remember my own rocky transition across this adulthood divide. As most any parent will attest,...

Just two years ago, Dame Products launched Eva, the first “truly wearable” couples’ vibrator. Featuring two flexible wings, the curious looking little vibe was designed to tuck under the labia. No hands, no hassle, just clitoral stimulation. Eight hundred thousand dollars later, Eva was the number one crowdfunded sex toy of all time. Surprised?

“Remember that pain has this most excellent quality. If prolonged it cannot be severe, and if severe it cannot be prolonged.”  Seneca

My abdominal surgery was three days ago. One thing I have learned in these last few days is how subjective and changeable is our experience of pain is. There are moments white hot, bringing tears to my eyes, as well as others like a constant ache that are comforted...

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”  Amit Ray

I am befriending my anxiety, as it goes with me everywhere these days. Happy to report that I have mostly given up the futile fight against it and I am finished with all of my subversive techniques to flee. Instead, I have been giving anxiety my full attention, which it turns out, is easier said than...

From selfie aerobics to bloody vibrators, Maja is a feminist of the digital age. She is a blogger, a performance artist, and now – an aspiring gynecologist?

After doing a little digging you’ll find that Maja’s work has everything to do with female empowerment. She uses her Internet platforms to educate. Her longtime blog, Booth Bitch,has become a veritable resource of knowledge for her followers....

Have you ever considered the health risks or environmental impacts of menstrual products? You might want to! Pads and tampons comprise a multi-billion dollar global industry, one that recently has been criticized for itstoxicity AND itswaste. This has left many looking for alternatives, but it can be hard to choose! With dozens of new ‘organic’ tampons companies and rising brands like THINX,...

“The way you make love is the way God will be with you.” -Rumi

You will find this quote on the first page of my forthcoming book, Sex That Works – An Intimate Guide To Awakening Your Erotic Life. My book sums up the wonder of living deeply in your erotic self and how that act connects you to the divine in ways that nothing else in life compares. Sex That Worksexplores the steps of awakening your...