“Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow – that’s vulnerability.” -Brene Brown
At the end of almost all relationships there are two roles, the one who is leaving and the one who is left. Optimally, yet I think...
“System reset. That is what grateful sex does. Every nerve fiber is soothed; the connections between heart, mind and body are restored, balanced.” -Wendy Strgar
Think about the last time you felt profoundly grateful. Try and remember how it felt in your body the last time you were fully aware of how good life can be and notice how engaged your were by your senses, whether it was in the...
Last night I got a text from my teenaged daughter’s ex-boyfriend. I like him so much, and am mourning her recent break-up with him. I saw it coming… as the balance of attraction and desire became lopsided, I knew that it was unlikely with their limited capacity to understand and express how things fell out of mutuality, that they would find their way back to each other. Once the scales tip, small...
“In violence we forget who we are.” -Mary McCarthy
Seeing a pro-football player knock out his girlfriend on an elevator video captures our collective attention. The league is held responsible for not taking the violence seriously, giving the offender a two game suspension, and then, after the public outcry, they expel him indefinitely. Intimate crimes persist, in part, because we don’t want to...
“Concealment makes the soul a swamp. Confession is how you drain it.” -Charles M. Blow
To my mind, the most powerful reckoning we make in this lifetime is with our sexual selves. Rarely are we privileged to bear witness to this process in others, even our most intimate others. So, when a NY Times columnisthas the courage to disclose how an act of childhood sexual abuse slowly evolved into a...
I didn’t realize when we first envisioned the Love Agent movement that we were actually creating an ongoing mechanism for relational breakthroughs until recently when it has became clear how challenging it is for our hundreds of love agents to go from being registered to engaged. I naively thought that our little love missions would become a simple self fulfilling prophecy as people experienced...
The truth is that we all fall short of our intentions a lot of the time, especially when it comes to our dedication to loving the people around us. We are blessed with these brilliant moments of inspiration that too often don’t come together in reality.
One of the most powerful antidotes to this pattern of unfulfilled love ideas is to share our commitment to become more loving with the people...
“More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” -Francois Gautier
If you can’t clear your mind when you are about to have sex, don’t bother. Coming into bed with a head full of thoughts, any kind of thoughts- from to-do lists to insecurities to anticipation- will prevent you from the experience of engaging sex. Good sex demands one thing above all- your full presence;...
“I know what I have given you. I do not know what you have received.” -Antonio Porchia
Perhaps the most salient recognition that we can make about our relationships is that we have no real control over what someone else receives from us, and moreover, often we are not even aware of how our love is transmitted to someone else. This explains the strange yet common phenomenon of long-term...
“The real measure of our lives may ultimately be in the small choices we make in each and every moment.” -Jim Loehr
Recently, I decided to try out a new yoga teacher and was forced to notice just how much resistance I had to changing my routine. In fact it took me weeks to actually finally get to that new studio. The first time was the hardest, but every week afterwards, required a little...
I am 32, loving wife, mother of one gorgeous boy and 12 weeks pregnant. I’m desperate because I feel so incredibly sad that I’m struggling to be interested in sex the way I used to be – and I think my husband is the same. This has been an ongoing and increasingly pressing issue even before our son was born. My orgasm has slowly become less and less intense and harder to achieve and quite frankly...
“The way to love anything is to imagine it gone.” 
The truth is that you never see the hard times coming towards you. We are just walking through life, expecting this day to turn out kind of like yesterday and grave illnesses, accidents, and job losses all come like an unexpected blow to the head. My son is in the middle of one of those times now and I am reminded again that a mother is only as...
