The V-Word

"Sex has a way of softening limbs,
oiling joints and melding hearts.

We burrow in closer
wrapping arms and legs over and under each other.

Earthly blanket of sleep covers us two bodies releasing one breath.

Finding home,
coiled and tucked in each other’s sweat."

-Wendy Lee

I feel compelled to say something about having sex even when your relationship feels like it doesn’t quite deserve it.

There are a few important things to say about exercise and love. The first is that working hard in strengthening your physical body is a powerful metaphor for the daily stamina it takes to make love sustainable. Feeling physically strong helps to strengthen your ability to respond proactively in stressful situations.

I just recently started exercise (Pilates) classes after many years...

This is dangerous ground to tread so I will go softly, but there is a crisis at hand so the topic deserves conversation and remedies. Several very significant studies have found consistently that 40% of women experience sexual dysfunction either at some point or continuously in their lives. A global survey in 2001, of 27,500 people in 40-80 countries, The Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and...

It is hard to love anyone, when you are feeling no love for yourself. There are a million and one reasons that we all have every day to be disappointed with events and people around us. It is not unusual to be in a circumstance where you feel like a victim of someone else’s doings… Inevitably, this becomes some kind of negative self talk that separates you from everyone- even the people you really...

Some days, try as you might, the weight of all the promises yet to keep is almost unbearable. I work at mindfulness, seeing the trees as I drive and noticing a bird overhead or the sound of my children’s voices. I work to create a thought that can move me closer to gratitude and optimism, which sometimes feels like a leap. The thought that moves me with the most certainty every time is knowing...

I rarely speak directly about sex. I feel like I am still inventing a language that I can use comfortably in the world, one that envelops the physical, but also transcends it. It is important to talk about orgasm, and to understand the power of it in daily life. But so much of this language has been usurped by an industry that sells us cheap images of organs, or people who feel like they just met...

I read yet another memoir in this month’s issue of Moremagazine about the dissolution of yet another marriage. This is a story that is familiar, so many women, more than not, can relate to it, and even some of the women who are still married can kind of relate, because there are plenty of married couples who have one foot out the door. This essay was thoughtful, insightful and well written...

Interesting article in the New York Times today about the People who share a bed and the things they say about it… The author Paul Rosenblatt interviewed 42 couples, most heterosexual married, but the study also included a small sample of homosexual non-married couples. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 61% of Americans share their bed and surprisingly, of the individual’s polled...

Great summary of a complex yet deeply important angle on healthy sexuality. Our human urge to sexuality and the myriad ways we play it out, or don’t, carry an intrinsic burden of guilt and shame. I mean let’s face it, as much as I enjoy my late night dates with my husband, I couldn’t...