The V-Word

Well, after thinking about my previous post of “just do it,” I decided at the risk of sounding like an infomercial, that I wanted to share some facts about how important your sense of smell is in the act of love. It is odd that we so often overlook scent when we think about finding a mood for love because the limbic part of our brain that registers scent is also the part of the brain that controls...

The question that comes up most often when I suggest that we give up this idea that we should be in the mood to engage in or respond to an invitation for intimacy is, How do you do it? So I know it is not much of a response to say, well just do it… but here’s the thing, a lot of people actually really enjoy the closeness and the sensations of intimacy once they get started. Leaping over the mental...

Censorship is defined in the dictionary as an official with the power to examine movies, books, television programming and to remove or prohibit anything considered obscene, politically objectionable, etc. There is some general agreement about what constitutes sexual obscenity and objectionable sexual content. I have in the course of my work been faced with situations and people who have very...

People have different expectations and experiences and desires about sex. OK, stating the obvious here, but actually what I mean to say is that people in the same bed, in the same sexual experience often have totally different expectations, experiences and desires… Individual preferences are impacted by everything from our personal history to our comfort with our own body- but because language is...

The cover of the Wall St. Journal today had a fascinating article about an Arab sex therapist who is gaining quite a bit of attention (both negative and positive) by combining a correspondence class in Sex Therapy with teachings from the Koran. As an Islamic woman, Mrs Heba Kotb is taking on the gigantic task of “lifting the veil on a touchy subject.” If that is not the understatement of the year…...

Making time for love is an important barometer of the commitment and sustainability of your relationship. When you consider the outrageous scheduling hoops we agree to without qualm in our work setting, or even more intensely in managing our children’s activity calendar, it makes you wonder how the idea of scheduling intimacy could still be so taboo. 

Yet, taboo it is, with an overriding belief...

A recent study (2000) using brain scan technology, performed at the University College in London, showed that people who were “madly in love” have brains that look very different from people experiencing other strong emotions such as anger and fear. The brains of people in love have the same appearance as people who have euphoric experience on drugs like cocaine. In fact, the process of falling in...

“Kiss me yet once again, the last, the long kiss, until I draw your soul within my lips and drink down all your love.” -Venus to Adonis

That kissing is practiced the world over, and throughout recorded history is hardly surprising. Many animal species including primates have been observed kissing as a form of peacemaking. Historically, kissing has evolved from the act of smelling someone’s face-...

Here is a new spin on an age old problem- Why does sex often become more tame and well, boring, over time as your relationship deepens? Or asked differently- why does illicit sex, whether it be cyber, vacation or a new partner often have so much more fire? This is the question that haunts most committed relationships- and no, it is not that you don’t have the right lingerie or a new or better...