The V-Word

The headline of the Eugene Register Guard today was “Battling Porn from the Pulpit“. The story was actually three stories on the many faces of pornography. The numbers are impressive no matter what side you are on… Every second $3,075 is being spent on pornography by over 28,000 users on the internet- yes, that was every second. There are over 4.2 million porn websites which makes up 12% of all...

The New England Journal of Medicine recently reported the results of the largest national survey of Americans between the ages of 57 to 85. The goal of the study was to provide some baseline data on sexuality in later life. Our idea of fading sexuality over the years is misplaced- Of the 3000 people surveyed, three quarters of them were married or living with a partner and three fourths of them...

A friendly reminder from your favorite loveologist: We promote healthy sex- because it is good for you.

Physical intimacy doesn’t just feel good….Making love is good for you as shown by hundreds of major medical studies. These studies are suggesting that an active sexual life may lead to a longer life, better heart health, a healthier immune response, reduction in chronic pain symptoms, lower...

In case you didn’t know that we were in the prime of shooting star season- take this as a friendly reminder to go and lay out under the stars with someone you love. Romantic, platonic, family or friends- laying still under a big sky of stars and waiting for a moment of magic is life changing, even if only for the minute you are fully present. This is the perfect venue for wishes as well. Although...

Here is a remarkably accurate list of terms that a woman you know might say to you and the meaning that is implied. The code list is funny to those of us who share the lexicon because it makes us realize how we cover the things we are communicating in a dignified and acceptable form, whilst actually saying the thing we want to say.

There are definitely terms on this list that my husband still does...

Lubrication is a fact of life. In any relationship where working parts are at play, whether it be an engine, a dinner party or an evening of love, everything works better when it is well oiled. Lubrication allows for glide, ease and effectiveness. When lubrication is working well, it is invisible, a thought we don’t have. When it isn’t working, we know it immediately, although not always by its...

The times when words don’t work, when you can hardly remember why you keep showing up for your relationship are begging for the best sex you might ever have. It is not the easiest intimacy to initiate because you have to jump over a couple of big egos to get to a place where the wisdom of your body can lead and you have half a chance to find what it is you have been wanting to say or have heard.

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I have been on vacation for the last 3 weeks with my family in Europe. Sounds exotic, I know, but the reality is not so much exotic as it is a crash course in learning how to love. Life at home with four kids is an on the go experience with multiple personalities and conflicting needs- but I realize now, that our busy life style actually only allows us an hour or two per day to interact as a unit....

I have been traveling in parts of the world where I cannot even say “how do you say ….” I barely have the basics of hello and goodbye down. And yet as I move through the daily activities of life, shopping at a market, sitting on the coastline in a crowd of people, standing on line to shower or wait for the bathroom. the scenes I witness between parents and children, lovers – old and young are more...